I DO THINK

YOU KNOW WHEN PEOPLE SEE A LITTER BOX, THEY ALWAYS SAY, "OH, DO YOU HAVE A CAT?" JUST ONCE I WANT TO SAY~~ "NO, THAT IS FOR COMPANY!"

"IN THE ATTITUDE OF SILENCE THE SOUL FINDS THE PATH IN AN CLEARER LIGHT, AND WHAT IS ELUSIVE AND DECEPTIVE RESOLVES ITSELF INTO CRYSTAL CLEARNESS. OUR LIFE IS A LONG AND ARDUOUS QUEST AFTER TRUTH."

I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED WHY THEY PUT PICTURES OF CRIMINALS UP IN THE POST OFFICE. ARE WE TO WRITE TO THESE PEOPLE? WHY DON'T THEY JUST PUT THEIR PICTURES ON STAMPS SO THE MAILMEN CAN LOOK FOR THEM WHILE THEY DELIVER?

WOMEN SHOULD PUT PICTURES OF THEIR MISSING HUSBANDS ON BEER CANS.

IF YOU JOG BACKWARDS.... DO YOU GAIN WEIGHT?

EVERYONE NEEDS SOMEONE TO HOLD ON TO.

I THINK THE REASON MOST PEOPLE PLAY GOLF... IS TO WEAR CLOTHES THEY WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD IN.

I'M NOT INTO WORKING OUT..... HEY.... NO PAIN NO PAIN.

SMILES ARE ALWAYS UNDERSTOOD.

I WONDER IF ADAM EVER SAID TO EVE,"WATCH IT!" THERE ARE PLENTY OF RIBS WHERE THAT ONE CAME FROM.

ONE GOOD CUDDLE CAN CHANGE A GRUMPY DAY INTO SUNSHINE.

I HAVE FOUND THAT AT MY AGE GOING BRA-LESS PULLS THE WRINKLES OUT OF MY FACE.

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO HAVE A HAPPY CHILDHOOD.

I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THOSE EMPLOYMENT APPLICATIONS AND THE BLANK THAT ASKS WHO IS TO BE NOTIFIED IN CASE OF EMERGENCY.... A GOOD DOCTOR I HOPE!!

YOU KNOW... PEOPLE SEEM TO READ THE BIBLE A WHOLE LOT MORE AS THEY GET OLDER ~~ OH ! ~~ THEY ARE CRAMMING FOR FINALS!!

LISTENING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN TALKING....BE A BIG EAR FOR SOMEONE.

I HAVE DECIDED THAT NOSTALGIA IS THE VCR OF OUR MINDS.

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL A POCKET CALCULATOR IN A NUDIST CAMP??

HUGS ARE EVEN BETTER THAN CHOCOLATE.

I THOUGHT ABOUT MAKING A MOVIE FOR FOLKS MY AGE... CALL IT ``"PUMPING RUST"``!

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS...TOO MANY KISSES.

YOU KNOW ... YOU HAVE TO FIGHT TO GIVE YOUR DOG A BATH... BUT HE'LL SIT OUT IN THE RAIN FOR HOURS.

WHEN YOU BLOW IN A DOGS FACE HE GETS MAD AT YOU. BUT WHEN YOU PUT HIM IN THE CAR... HE STICKS HIS HEAD OUT THE WINDOW!

I WAS THINKING ABOUT OLD AGE... AND DECIDED... THAT IT IS WHEN YOU STILL HAVE SOMETHING ON THE BALL, BUT YOU ARE JUST TOO TIRED TO BOUNCE IT.

HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED... ANYBODY GOING SLOWER THAN YOU IS AN IDIOT, AND ANYONE GOING FASTER THAN YOU IS A MANIAC??

HEY... I JUST DON'T THINK ALOT!! WOULDN'T WANT TO HURT MYSELF!!!!